Narcissists are scum. This may not be the best way to start an article, as it may seem like there is hatred or anger. But to be candid and truthful…narcs are scum. They only think about how they can control, how they can manipulate, how they can sabotage, how they can hurt, how hey can get people to grovel to them and how they can USE people.
Their whole lives are hellbent on getting everyone in their proximity to kneel down before them. Narcs are not just scum they are parasites.
There are many ways to which narcs control but perhaps one of the most frustrating methods that narcs use to control their partners and subordinates is through financial abuse.
What Is Financial Abuse?
Financial abuse, as womenhealth.gov best put it, is:
Financial abuse happens when an abuser takes control of finances to prevent the other person from leaving and to maintain power in a relationship. An abuser may take control of all the money, withhold it, and conceal financial information from the victim. Financial abuse happens often in physically abusive relationships. Financial abuse can also happen in elder abuse when a relative, friend, or caregiver steals money from an older person.
(You can check out their website here)
What Does Financial Abuse Look Like?
For those who may not be familiar with what financial abuse is, here are a few methods of financial abuse:
- not letting you get a job
- sabotaging your work interview
- forbidding job training
- controlling how money is spent
- having no investment decisions
- not be able to have a bank account
- charging up large amounts of debt on a joint account (this is what makes them scum. They want something to ALWAYS connect you two)
- hiding assets
- and much more
Narcs Use Financial Abuse To Keep People With Them
Narcs withhold money, or adequate amounts of money, from their partner, because they don’t want their partner to leave them. Narcs, at their core, are people who are very insecure, hence their need to control.
They have a fear that if they cannot control someone then that person will leave them.
By withholding money from their partner, it not only makes it difficult for that partner to try and literally leave (because they won't have the finances) but it also gives the narc a great bit of pleasure knowing they have control over someone.
Research has shown that the major reason many partners STAY or GO BACK to their narc partner is due to financial reason (check out the full report here).
How Can You Escape This Abuse?
Understand that financial abuse IS ABUSE in every sense of the word.
When someone has the means to control how much you eat, where you can go, what you can do, what you can see, and what you can spend…that is abuse.
You don’t always have to be physically harmed to be abused.
The objective behind this type of abuse is to not only control your resources — but it is also a means to get you to regress.
By having to ask, you no longer are an adult.
You become a child or a slave.
And this is exactly what the narc wants.
The way to escape this is by saving up funds.
Funds from them?
No. You need to be able to distract the narc.
Use the money they give you for the purposes they are familiar with. And while they out, start trying to earn money online.
Sign up to websites like Everyday Moms Sampling Club to get free samples delivered to your home. These free samples you can then sell online to get money or you can use them yourself if you are not getting enough resources.
In your spare time, you need to learn how to make money on your own. Understand that it has been the control of finances that has kept you with the narc.
And as shown in the link provided above, in regards to why most people GO BACK to their narc, is due to their inability to make money on their own.
This site Moms Business Network is a great website that helps mothers who want to start learning how to make money online.
Quick Note: These sites are affiliate sites, and I am mostly relegating this abuse to females because they are the primary victims of these type of abuse. This is not to say that men do not suffer from this abuse as well, but most commonly it is females.
While making your escape you have to be very very careful. It is all about distraction and misdirection. You cannot let your partner KNOW that you are trying to leave because they will up the abuse even more.
And if you think you need a bank account you can always sign up to PayPal, until you are free to get your own bank account.
One last thing, you will also want to delete all your information in the history when you are finished (assuming the abuse is this bad), so not to give any signs or clues that you are thinking of leaving.
If you are a victim of abuse then I highly recommend that you give National Domestic Violence Hotline | Get Help Today | 1–800–799–7233 a call.
Don’t struggle anymore.
Reach out for help.
NOTE: If you found this article helpful please like (give it a clap) and share as hat really helps me out. Narcissistic abuse HAS GOT TO STOP. No one should be able to control someone else.