Being in a relationship with a narcissist can be very depressing, but that doesn’t make breakups from such relationships any easier. The kind of exhaustion and self-doubt you experience while still in the relationship can linger on long after your breakup.
These people really know how to do a number on us!
This is especially true since such relations create a trauma bond that increases your attachment to your partner even though you know they treat you poorly. Although it can be difficult, it is possible to break the trauma bond.
The first step in healing trauma bonds is separating (Going No Contact) from the narcissist and identifying who your true friends are. Narcissists will always try to make you feel and think like your perceptions aren’t real.
They know that interfering with your reality will tie you to them and give them more control.
Trust your intuition and take control of your reality instead of believing everything the narcissist tells you. Make a list of everything your ex did wrong to make it easier for you to remember all the abuse. This will allow you to separate emotionally from them and progress in your healing.
It’s natural and common for victims of trauma bond to blame themselves for being in such a situation, but that only makes it harder for you to heal.
Don’t blame yourself for leaving or for being in the situation in the first place. Similarly, don’t demand or expect answers from the narcissist.
Accept that they will NEVER APOLOGIZE, as difficult as this may be, accept this truth.
They will use that opportunity to manipulate you with lies.
Having better control of your thoughts can also help you in preventing trauma bonding narcissist. Try to think in the present moment instead of dwelling in your perceptions too much. With this, you can maintain a neutral point, which will allow you to indulge in more activities pleasantly.
Another good option in how to break a trauma bond is relying on your family. Don’t isolate yourself even though that could be your first reaction to all the trauma the narcissist put you through.
Connect with yourself and all the people that truly care about you like your parents, siblings, or even children if you have them. Develop new hobbies and associate yourself with people who truly support your healing process.
Healing from trauma bond isn’t easy and may take longer, but it will eventually happen if you dedicate to healing properly. With these tips, you should heal and be able to identify an abusive relationship in the future.